Life's Restless Journey

My dearest readers. I feel like this post has become more like a self journey writers blog but nonetheless it is still writing. Where do I begin...I've been so restless throughout life. Wanting to follow dreams, wanting to help so many people I meet and want to take care of, wanting to get married, wanting to have children, wanting to record another CD, write more, take care of more people and serve all I can so those out there who need a friend know that I am here to carry them through the burdens they feel they have to carry alone, do some more acting, do some more cake decorating, just be me. I feel there are always so many crossroads and decisions to make, so many directions and not truly knowing all of the time, which path to take. I always help others before thinking of myself because that means more to me than anything. Mainly because I know what it feels like to go through so much that you don't want others to feel alone while going through what they have to go through. Right now I feel torn in so many directions and wanting too many things at once. I'm not sure where to begin. Last night was one of those nights I had to be strong but wanted to just cry for the guy I was with. My heart bleeds for those who struggle so much and don't really know the true meaning of love. I've always been told that one of my top qualities and talents is to love unconditionally. Everything I do whether its my music or writing, or any other type of project or service...my whole heart goes into it. I want so much to do so many things at once and yes I do them when I can and maybe I just feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions its just hard to know where to start first since I love so many things in this life and that there are so many things that need to be done. I would love to record another CD like the first one I recorded but maybe record a single with three songs on it instead of 10. I also plan to submit two short plays I wrote into the Echo10 theater festival in hopes that one of my plays will be selected to be performed. I would sure love to see my work performed again on stage. I've also been thinking of decorating a cake or cupcake every Friday to build my portfolio in hopes of having a small side business. My dad told me and my sister that we should go into business together since we are so talented in that department...just one more thing to think about :) Then the toughest one of all...making the choice of who to give my whole heart to that will be there when I need him and someone I can be there for when he needs me. Someone I can start a family with because as the guy I was with last night said..."Your not getting any younger. He's right. Just so many paths to take and wanting to be super woman while balancing a family and doing what you love, which I've seen it done. I just want someone I can truly connect with and someone I can tell all my secrets to and know he will still love me. Life is a restless journey sometimes. Does that mean its bad...no. But sometimes we feel that way as we go through at moments we feel our path has several options or choices we have to make all at once or things we want to do but wondering how to get there or how to pursue or find. All is good in the decisions that need to be made or desires or wishes. My advice is never let your talents go to waste and always keep your heart open to loving others.