Journey Down the Correct Path

My life has never truly been an open book. I have thousands of stories, memories, and experiences that all end up locked away building dust on the shelves of time. My personal journey of growth in life and the gospel have been the hardest years of my life, yet I stand before you a strong and happy young woman because of them. No one has it easy in this life. We all struggle with various trials including faith. At least I know I do. I can say I'm not perfect...I make mistakes and fall down. Sometimes its hard to get back up when all you want to do is run and hide from the pain and the sorrow. Sometimes I question in tears why I have to go through different situations. I think those are the moments I am the closest to my Father in Heaven. I beg and plead when all goes wrong. But I know my rightful path. I struggle with it at times as I watch everyone around me getting married, having kids, getting their degrees in things I can't even pronounce, and watching as everyone around me lives their dreams creating successes with their talents. I never got to travel when I was younger, I grew up so sick and was never able to go on a mission, I feared many things, and I didn't have the greatest complexion or friends. Right now I'm sure you are asking yourself, why in the world is she sharing all of this intimate detail and why all the pain? I've looked back on my life trying to see the growth, trying to see the Lord's hand working in my life, and why I am plain and a bit boring as opposed to the exciting life of others...well from my view point anyway. My path has lead me down a path of progression in spiritual growth and also personal growth and what a glorious journey it has been. I would never take back any of the experiences and at times I want to shout the knowledge I received just by going through them. My true journey started three years ago when I sat on a rock at Corona Del Mar beach in California after the funeral of my Nana. I realized just how selfish I was being in my life and I wanted to change. I wanted to progress toward marriage and family and do all that the Lord wanted me to do, and in my prayer I stated I simply didn't care how I got there I wanted to meet the man I was suppose to marry and build a lasting relationship. Caution: Be careful what you pray for you are going to receive an answer and not always in the way that you expect it. So choose your words wisely. A few weeks later I met a guy who was perfect for me. My family liked him, I liked him and we enjoyed our moments together. But as we progressed in our relationship he said he wanted to get married and it scared me because I still hadn't come to terms with the prayer that I had uttered on that rock. I wasn't so sure If I could truly give up my dreams. I had potential in writing and in singing and I wanted to use those talents. I got so scared I broke up with this guy I knew I wasn't fully ready to make that commitment, but I suddenly realized the very next day I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I ran back to him hoping to make it work but in the moment he asked to get married again that awful fear came back. I lost him to another girl who was ready and they got married several months later. I was crushed and I knew I had a long journey ahead, but that is what started it all. The ups and downs of getting to where I am today. Watching the Lord guide me in my life to the right path which I was told in a blessing I am on. The Lord has granted so many tender mercies in my life including the one I witnessed today while sitting in the Celestial room at the temple. Last night I was down on my knees in prayer crying and begging to know why I couldn't follow any of the selfish paths I wanted to travel down. I knew my answers and I knew as I was told in a blessing the Lord's timing is not always our timing. But I still questioned. I felt like I wasn't making any difference in this life and how hard it was to have sacrificed all my dreams and how I felt I was standing by watching everyone else take these great paths. So yes, I struggle too but here I am still going. Doing what I know in my heart is right. I felt inspired that I needed to go to the temple the next morning after I finished praying, so I did. It was me and two others in the Celestial room and I was praying like crazy to fully understand. The gentleman sitting across from me stood up and walked over and sat next to me and asked if I spoke Spanish. I said no. Then he referred to a cartoon with a little girl named Lulu and a little boy named Toby and how they were great friends. And one day they were playing out in the snow making snowballs and Lulu asked Toby to drop his snowball. Toby got so mad that he had to make a decision to drop his snowball but he did. He told me that sometimes in our lives we have snowballs that we have to drop and we have to make decisions that are hard. He said he didn't know what I was struggling with but he said that he was prompted to come to the temple this morning and that if he did his prayer would be answered. He told me this is the House of the Lord and we will indeed receive answers if we ask and we will be guided down the right path. He then said God Bless and left. To all my readers, he was the answer to my prayer. Sometimes in life we have to make sacrifices and trust in the Lord and that He knows what he is doing. Sometimes we want to do it our own way but if we truly desire to do it his way we will be happier. It gave me renewed hope and faith and true happiness that the Lord hears me and all of us. I KNOW I am on the right path. I have been told several times. I may only have my faith to carry me blindly forwarded and yes we aren't always going to have perfect faith 100% of the time but the Lord will always be there showing us the way. My path is bright it has been for quite some time and I know without a shadow of a doubt that if the Lord makes a promise if we are truly faithful he will ALWAYS keep it. I hope all have a fabulous night!