Blind Date
(At rise: A nice restaurant
around lunch time. SARAH a
woman in her early thirties
sits at a table while talking
on her cell phone. She glances
over at the entrance occasionally
like she's expecting someone.)
SARAH
No, not yet... I don't know, I hope he doesn't. I have so much paperwork I need to do at the office, it's a wonder I'm sitting here wasting my time... yeah, well blame my mother. This is the third blind date in a month... she says this one's different, the son of my father's boss, he owns some company downtown... if I show him a good time m father is looking at a raise and a promotion, it sounds so easy...
(Sarah looks over at the
entrance. CODY, a surfer bum
in his late twenties, walks
through the door with his surf
board. He looks around, spots
Sarah, and walks over to her
with a slight sway.)
SARAH
Oh, my gosh. I gotta go.
(She closes her cell phone and
hangs up.)
CODY
Yo, you're one hard chick to follow.
SARAH
You were following me?
CODY
(Laughs) Chyeah. I tried to get you to slow down so I--
SARAH
Didn't my mother give you directions?
CODY
(Serious) No, was she suppose to?
SARAH
My mother was right, you are definitely different. Why don't you set your... board down and have a seat.
(Cody sets his board down on
the floor upside down then sits
down.)
SARAH
So, my mother tells me you have your own company in town, what is it that you do?
CODY
Dude, I'm a zepherr, who sells rhino chasers and old school schlong boards to wonkers on the beach.
SARAH
Oh.
CODY
The best part is ridin around with my crew in our sandboxes, scoping out the crippler chicks, and shreddin the gnarl, man.
(Pause)
SARAH
Is that computer talk?
CODY
Nah, it's the way I always talk, dude.
SARAH
I see. It sounds interesting, what you do... uh... what was your name I'm sorry I must of--
CODY
Whoahhh, I totally spaced it. The name's Cody, you know like Cody's Surf Shop down by the beach.
SARAH
YOU own a surf shop?
CODY
I know, mando bizarro, right? Everyone thought I was going to be a doctor. Do you surf?
SARAH
No.
CODY
Why not, everyone surfs.
SARAH
I don't. I have more important matters to handle, such as meetings, mergers, and paperwork. The only surfing I do is on the Internet.
(Cody jumps up from his seat.)
CODY
(Fascinated) No way!
(Cody grabs Sarah's hand trying
to examine it. She pulls it away.)
SARAH
What are you doing?
CODY
I was always told that people who, like, surf the Internet have webbed fingers and stuff.
SARAH
What? Who told you that?
CODY
My roommate, he watches the discovery channel.
SARAH
of course, I forgot who I was talking to. What's next, lawyers with noses that grow when they lie?
CODY
You've heard of them too? Dude, I thought I was the only one.
SARAH
Cody will you please sit down, people are starting to stare at us.
(Cody casually sits down at the
table.)
CODY
If you ask me, it sounds like you're all tense and crabby--
SARAH
Crabby? I'm not crabby, okay maybe I was a little crabby, please don't tell your father.
CODY
You know what you need? You need the Codeman's secret stress relief treatment.
SARAH
I'm afraid to ask.
CODY
When I totally start trippin out, I ride the waves.
(Cody gets up, and jumps on his
surf board pretending he's
surfing.)
SARAH
I think I'll pass.
CODY
Some of my best memories came from riding waves, except that one day I kept wiping out cuz those speedbump kooks kept gettin in my way, I took a lot of beach home that day.
SARAH
That's too bad.
CODY
So are you ready for your lesson?
SARAH
Now? In the middle of the restaurant?
CODY
of course.
SARAH
No, I'd rather not.
(Cody walks over to Sarah, gets
her out of the chair.)
SARAH (CONT'D)
Cody what are you doing, wait a minute.
(Cody picks her up and throws
her over his shoulder heading
for his surf board.)
SARAH (CONT'D)
Cody, I'm in a business suit, people are staring, oh crap, I don't think I'm ready for this, I think I'm having and out of body experience, either that or I've died and gone to hell.
CODY
Don't be such a woffie, dude.
SARAH
I think I'm going to be sick.
(Cody sets her down next to
the board. He jumps on the
board and gets down on his
stomach.)
CODY
First ya got to do the turtle and paddle out to the middle of the ocean, wait for a gnarly wave...
(Cody jumps back up on his
board pretending he's riding
a wave.)
CODY (CONT'D)
Then ride it back to shore. Now its your turn.
SARAH
I think I'll take a rain check. This is embarrassing.
CODY
The legend would be displeased.
SARAH
Who's the legend?
CODY
(Proud) My old man.
(Sarah takes off her shoes
and gets on the board.)
SARAH
The things I do for my father. Okay I'm on the board, I don't feel any different. Are we done?
CODY
You gotta get down and paddle.
SARAH
I'm not getting down on my stomach.
CODY
Become one with the wave, young squidhopper.
(Sarah lets out a frustrated
sigh and gets down on her
stomach.)
SARAH
Now what?
CODY
Start paddling, here comes a killer wave, dude!
(Sarah slowly stands up trying
to maintain her balance. She
teeters then falls over, Cody
catches her.)
CODY (CONT'D)
Not bad for a newbie. You're more like a highway surfer.
SARAH
Really? Uh, do you think I can try it again?
CODY
Smoke the big Kahuna, man.
SARAH
I'll take that as a yes.
(Sarah gets back on the board
with more confidence.)
CODY
You've got it this time, carve those gnarly waves. Aw dude, it's a fat wave.
(Sarah jumps up ridin the waves.)
SARAH
I did it! I'm surfing!
CODY
Tidal wave!
SARAH
What?
(Sarah turns as Cody pics up a
glass of water from the table
and throws it on Sarah.)
CODY
(Laughing) Wipe out.
(STEVE a well dressed business
man in his early thirties enters,
spots Sarah, and walks over to
her as she is wiping water off her
face.)
STEVE
Sarah?
SARAH
(Irritated) What!
STEVE
I'm Steve, your date. I'm sorry I'm late I had a meeting that... who's this?
CODY
I'm Cody, bro, you know like Cody's Surf Shop.
(Sarah looks from Steve to Cody confused.)
SARAH
Cody's my date.
CODY
Date? I didn't know I was on a date.
SARAH
I... I thought you were the son of my father's boss? Didn't my mother send you?
CODY
Nah.
SARAH
Then why did you follow me?
CODY
Whoahhh, I totally forgot about that. I followed you cuz I saw you drop your wallet, I thought you might forget who you were if you didn't have it. I lost mine for a week once, talk about complete memory loss.
SARAH
Thank you, Cody--
STEVE
You better make sure all your cards and money are in there before he leaves.
SARAH
But he returned it.
STEVE
They're all a bunch of theives, lazy bums who surf all day and steal people's wallets. Why don't you go get a real job.
(Sarah checks her wallet.)
SARAH
It's all here, no need to get upset.
CODY
(To Sarah) I think your friend here is caught in the fish net.
STEVE
That's it you little punk.
(Steve grabs Cody by the seat
of the pants.)
CODY
Dude, that's a hard core weggie.
SARAH
Now wait a minute...
(Steve throws Cody off stage.
We hear a loud crash.)
CODY (O.S)
You forgot my surf board dude.
(Steve walks back grabs the surf
board and throws it off stage.)
CODY (O.S)
Thanks!
(Steve walks back to the table
straitening his shirt. Sarah
continues to stare in the
direction Steve threw Cody out.)
STEVE
Good riddance to bad rubbish. It's a wonder you let him embarrass you like that. Sarah?
(Sarah turns to Steve.)
STEVE (CONT'D)
Would you like to freshen up before we order, you look like hell.
SARAH
Do you know how to surf?
STEVE
Don't be ridiculous, of course not.
(Sarah picks up a glass of
water on the table and throws
it on Steve.)
SARAH
Wipe out!
(Sarah exits. Lights Fade.)
THE END
I think this play was well done. I hope you enjoy it. I am going to save the other two for the next two days. Its a lot to type out and when you have a computer that is slow it makes it ten times worse. Stay tuned for the other ten minute play and my fifteen minute screenplay. PEACE!
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