Imprisoned by Spiritual Guidance or Liberated from Worldly views and Blinders

This seemed like a good topic to write on for the night. I find myself coming down hard on my personal views of prioritizing what's more important in my life. I find it harder and harder to meet the worldly standards of what is logical and what everyone expects me to do or who to be. After a hard look at all the evidence and a quick intake of breath I've reached my verdict. I stand alone. After all these years of soul searching and fence sitting I've finally chosen a side. I choose to be liberated from the worldly views and blinders it has placed upon society. When the world says jump we seem to mimic, afraid to stand alone and to stand for what we believe in, religiously or course. I've found that throughout my life I have faced the challenges of being told who I needed to be to be liked by society or what I needed to do in life to be successful. I fought the feeling, confused at moments, when I chose to be who I wanted to be or what I chose to do to improve who I was. I was listening to the spirit as I was pointed in the direction I felt was necessary, of becoming the woman I am today. In some circumstances the worldly logic of my behavior or personal choices lead me down a challenging path where I have been forced to constantly take a stand for what I believe and why I have chosen to take such an unethical journey...when I could make it so much easier on myself and follow the advice, which in times has been helpful in some instances, but straining in others. I have been told I have been spiritually imprisoned by spiritual guidance and too afraid to let go or let my hair down so to speak. I agree that having fun and enjoying life is part of this journey. We are here to grow and learn and enjoy life to the fullest. The Lord wants to see us happy. But again it all comes down to priorities and what the Lord asks of us. Let me elaborate. I have been told that logically it is better to purchase a house than rent, if you can afford to do so. I was planning on purchasing a house some time ago when I was in between homes and looking for more of a healthy environment both physically, mentally, and spiritually. Instead of making the decision on my own I prayed about it. I wanted to buy a home. I didn't want to keep picking up and moving around. I wanted roots. But as I sat in the temple one day the words. "You will be happy in the moment, but not in the long run," came to my mind. I also had the words "there is a house that is being prepared for you," enter my mind. Confused I asked what that meant. I didn't receive an answer. I asked again. No answer. I left feeling a sense of discouragement and disappointment since that was a desire that logically made sense...to the world and to most individuals. Later as I was praying about where to live the thought came that I would be given three places to choose from. The first place came after I was prompted to go to a singles ward activity, in which, through my inspiration to speak to people I learned of a place for rent. A couple days later I went to check it out. To my dismay it was a nice place but out of my range of price and the landlord was a bit condescending. Disappointed I left. Now any person at this point would have told me I was crazy to listen to this prompting. Basically stating its all in your head. No. I may be getting the run around but there is a lesson to learn through all of this. The second and third promptings and the second place and third place happened while I was at work. I was so slow one week that I hardly had anything to do so I was prompted to look on KSL. I found a place that seemed to fit what I was looking for so I wrote it down and planned to schedule a time to go see the place. As I was about to get off feeling like I had found what I was looking for I had the prompting to keep looking. As I did so I found a third place. I wrote it down but wasn't too excited to do much with this since I was more gung-ho on the other place. I set up a time for the second place for that night. I also text the owner of the third place just to ease the nagging feeling in the back of my mind. A few things happened. I went to my sisters to wait for time to pass before I could go to the second place. I prayed in my heart that if this isn't the place for me to be I needed to know. I was playing with my niece when I realized I had to leave. She started to beg me to stay and started to cry. It broke my heart, but I had to go. That was the first warning. The second sign was as I was trying to find this second rental home I got lost, even though moments before looking at the driving directions I knew exactly where it was. I drove around in circles and I even tried to text the people. I eventually found it but I was 30 min late. I had left early enough so that would be there twenty minutes early. No such luck. And to make matters worse I had been driving right past it. The addresses didn't match on the house, believe me I checked...twice. Also, just before I walked in to the house the owner to the third place text me back. Of all the random moments to text someone. I loved the house but there were two things that I hesitated on; one, the kitchen was too small and I felt claustrophobic but I figured it was just going to be me. My issue there was I couldn't fit a kitchen table in the kitchen it was too small and I worried about having guests. Two, the price was a little over my price range but I was willing to cave for this place. And third, the owners wife was a interior decorator and I was suddenly intimidated about make this place my own afraid that I would ruin or disappoint the owners wife with my taste of decorations, since this would be the first place I would have the opportunity to do so without roommates throwing your decor in the closet because they didn't like it. I left that night feeling torn. I battled inside for a couple of days. Finally, I decided to fill out an application and send it in. I figured if this place really wasn't right with all my uncertainties, I wouldn't get it. In all of my haste I almost bailed on my last appointment to see the final home. Good thing I didn't. The day I was suppose to go see this other house the owner to the second place emailed me to tell me they went with another couple. Again a whole lot of disappointment. I was beginning to wonder if my decision to rent a home instead of buy a home was the wrong choice but that feeling inside kept telling me I had one more option that I NEEDED to look at. At this point I was starting to sway. I realized that perhaps it really was in my head and the answers were just my self conscience dodging the fear of responsibility of being a real home owner myself. Yeah, all that changed. I went to the temple that night I was suppose to go see the third place. As I did so I felt this overwhelming peace that this was the place before I even saw it and that the Lord had to show me all the wrong ones so he could keep the best for last and help me realize it was all in His hands and not to fear. Imagine you working so hard to get somewhere in life or do something in life just to fail over and over again. And just when you feel like giving up BANG! That hard work and time paid off. The moment I walked into that home it felt like home. It felt right and after I left I was so afraid that I was going to lose the opportunity that I immediately text the owner and told him I wanted it. I made that quick decision not out of desperation but because I felt it was right. I felt like I was going home and I haven't regretted the decision. I wondered though sometimes as life seemed to change after moving here, what my purpose was. As I prayed many things came. I had the thought that this was the place I needed to share my talents more, I was also inspired by the spirit that this would be a place where I would meet many friends. And last but not least in a blessing I was told that a calling that I had been given in the ward was a calling the Lord was preparing for me to have at this time. Believe me when I say when the world says jump and all logic seems to point at what the world believes is right...it doesn't always mean it is. The Lord isn't always going to tell you what to do. It is your agency to choose but we should always include him in our prayers when we make decisions. When I do something out of the norm or choose a path that seems irrational, it may be that I am following a prompting. Now, I'm not about to follow a prompting to jump off a cliff or steal a car or anything of that nature. I would say that isn't the spirit. I work hard to get where I need to be. I have my moments when my mind tries to pull me away making me believe what I am thinking is all in my head and not real, but I promise you it is. I am happy here where I am now. Its a new place to grow and a new place to build great friendships while keeping old friendships alive. It is true my priorities have changed since I have moved here. My life must move forward and in doing so you take the changes that come. I work hard and must remain responsible, going to work every morning, paying the bills, maintaining good health, cleaning house, learning to cook, serving the Lord where ever he would like me to go. My motto "I will go and do." I have continued to place my priorities in order of what would be important if I got married right now. My dedication is to the Lord but as we continue to move through life the Lord knows what direction is best for us. He will guide us if we choose to follow. He gives us our agency to choose and allows us to validate it to see what we have learned. The more we trust Him and follow Him the more He will trust us. My decisions in this life have given me a happier more fulfilled life. One of great worth and great joy. So does it sound like I am Spiritually imprisoned by spiritual guidance or liberated from the worldly views and blinders. Following the Lord has made me more happy than when I was following what everyone else thought was right for me. I may not do what is always the logical answer but I wouldn't regret any of the choices I have made when I have been prompted or inspired to do something that is out of the norm. I am spiritually edified and strengthen with a greater knowledge and becoming more like my Savior. I realize that the Lord knows what my hearts desires are and He will grant me all those wonderful opportunities including marriage, when the time is right. But for now I came here to this earth to follow the Lords Will and in doing so I know I will be greatly blessed. There is nothing more that I want than to serve the Lord with a full purpose of heart and using my talents to uplift, inspire, and to help be the instrument in the Lord's hands to help others better themselves. To all of you I encourage you to liberate yourselves from the worldly views and blinders and commit to the liberation and joy of what following the Lord and the guidance of the spirit can do in your lives.